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I have been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome several hardships, her resilience is commendable. But, she has been often taken by surprise by others. Her spouse left her, and it was a huge shock. Several of close acquaintances drifted away during that time, because they seemed focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her deeply. She made increased attention in our friendship, likely understood better what friendship was.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several close to her have drifted apart leaving her sure why. Her previous job became hostile, despite the fact that she was highly competent, and she left unaware of the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we've both left the workforce and are seeing each other more, however, I feel my position between us is as the audience. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to what interests her. Politically, she has unyielding views. I attempt to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She is organizing a trip abroad I've visited on several occasions and resided in for a while. My intention was to share advice, but this was unappreciated. She really just desired my agreement with her decisions. I recently returned from 30 days there she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, but I don't think she'll truly understand the consequences of her actions on my self-esteem. Currently, I find myself in pulling back. How should I proceed?

Ways Forward

You could end things abruptly, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one is to state the usual pattern when you talk. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. The second is to express how this leaves you feeling. There should be no argument on this point. What you feel belong to you, after all. Step three is to question how the two of you will alter the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. An approach that works is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for half an hour."

This can be successful to encourage mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject your concerns, as some people have a deep-seated story: they rely on a version about themselves they cannot let go of as it feels essential is tied to it and it represents they trust. This is difficult when there seems no thoroughfare here, mere obstacles. But she may start out like this then consider about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a fix, you'll have closure that you've been open and direct.